Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
