shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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