like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize