Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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