where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
