i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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