Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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