I need help removing her.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
