His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
