Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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