i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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