Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
