Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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