did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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