I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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