If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
