And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize