mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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