Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
