Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
