I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
