you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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