So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
