Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
