I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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