He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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