I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
