I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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