Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
