And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
