I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
