Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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