I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
