On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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