Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
