Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
NoShamevember. You game?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
