I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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