Soap is not a condiment
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
