Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
