I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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