I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is Oprah even human
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
