its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize