look no pants
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
