I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
