Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
