It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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