If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
