i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
