Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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