you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
