I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
