i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
