is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just high enough for therapy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
