"it" just moved
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
