I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
