i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
