So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
