I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
