he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
