ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
