You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am naked and annoyed.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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