just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize