I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
